it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world Invitations, Mary Oliver Dear Grandma Vera, You’ll be delightfully surprised to learn that I have a daughter. I know you did not expect me to have kids. I don’t think anyone did at this point (not that I am ancient, I just spent the last decade sure that it wouldn’t happen). But it did! Her name is Maia Jillian. I named her after Jilly because Jillian was the brightest light I ever knew

I want a love like the ocean that forces me to recognize how small I am compared to the force of it Like a tree with rings that grow each year like wrinkles that crease the edges of your eyes Like a summer storm that keeps the grass green and shakes the ground Like a fire with heat that teases the skin of your feet as you dance around it Like a butterfly so gentle you can’t even feel its weight on your hand yet capable of flight Like a star with light that spans generation

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart: I am, I am, I am.” -Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar *** Multitudes I am His calloused hands wrapped around my mother’s neck boots that beat him while he laid shackled flipped kitchen tables and slammed doors and birthday cards that say, “I am proud of you.” sweat and bruises and grime that flow from a blue collar life like storm water Her nimble fingers as they braid my hair crashes and screams coming from her b

I feel like I say goodbye to my grandmother again and again in the brief moments where my mind forgets she's gone and remembering brings another goodbye. I think of her sitting on her favorite corner of her soft grey couch on the phone with a girlfriend or watching British tv with knitting needles moving in the hands that rocked my mother to sleep. I remind myself what a gift it was to lose her in her old age she had the privilege of a rich and full life and now I have the bo

Tomorrow is my grandmother's birthday. The first one she isn't around to celebrate. It will join a list of other days that have come and...